I was smart when I was in diapers. Now I’m more in the unparalleled genius range. — Quentin Quire – Wolverine and the X-Men #5
I was smart when I was in diapers. Now I’m more in the unparalleled genius range.
September 21st is upon us, and with that date comes renewed interest in 2000 A.D.’s Judge Dredd character. The Dredd 3D film has been getting excellent early reviews, but today we care not for reviews, we care for homemade crap found on Etsy! As always, this installment of It Came From Etsy promises to find you something you can’t find anywhere else, with the focus today being on Mega-City One’s favourite son, Judge Joe Dredd.
Judge Dredd Gift Box
Let’s presume that you might be giving some of these ideas to a loved one to celebrate Dredd 3D’s release (I assume this is normal, I gave my loved ones all black eyes and 6 months in prison, drokking law breakers!). In the case of gift giving, what better vessel for love than a Judge Dredd upcycled gift box. The only danger here is that by cutting up an old Judge Dredd comic, one definitely risks the penalty of at least a few days in prison, leniency will be given for having super good taste!
Replica Law Giver
From the most mundane gift we go to the most important, a replica Hero Law Giver. The only drawback to this item is the fact that it’s a replica from the Stallone Dredd movie from the 90s and not from the recent film. That being said, it’s still more badass than 99.9% of the items on Etsy (there is a staggering 250 pages of doilies). The benefit of having your own Law Giver is the fact that you are now cooler than everyone in the Wu-Tang Clan combined. The downside is that impersonating a Judge carries a mandatory life-in-prison sentence, so maybe don’t flash your piece near the Grand Hall of Justice.
Anthrax Vintage Dredd T-Shirt
From the 1987 album, Among the Living, Anthrax released a Dredd inspired single titled I am the Law. Now you can pretend to be the heavy metal law as well! As far as I can tell, this item is an original but in superb condition, so good in fact, that it would make even house-cleaning robot Wally the Wobot proud. Risks associated with this particular fashion gem are that wearing it might lead to listening to Anthrax in public, and noise pollution carries a 3 year prison sentence doing manual labour on the moon… So it might be best to invest in some good headphones.
Mean Machine Pencil Portrait
This is perfect for the artsy law breaker in your life (liberal arts students, I’m looking at you!). Perennial underdog in the Dredd universe, Mean Machine is the son of Pa Angel, from the vaunted Angel line of criminals and miscreants. This sketch is inspired by the Stallone Dredd movie, but since Mean Machine was a high-light of the film, it isn’t blasphemous to put it in this article. I have to let you know though, associating with a criminal as infamous as Mean Machine is likely to get you executed in the grimy streets of Mega-City One, so maybe keep this one safe and hidden, put it somewhere you hide all your illegal stuff (like sugar and tobacco).
Judge Dredd VS. Batman Print
Inspired by a piece of Mike Mignola art work (see below), this item captured the moment right before Dredd likely beat the bejesus out of spoiled billionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne (just another foolish vigilante citizen moonlighting as the law). I review one of their crossovers here, but its pretty clear that Bruce is outclassed, outgunned and outbadassed. This is potentially the only item that carries no penalty, as Dredd is likely to high five you if this is hanging in your apartment.
That’s all the Etsy we have for you today, feel free to join us next-time, when we look at some iconic character spoiled by being attached to a light switch (no wait, we already did that, sorry Galactus! Don’t eat us!).
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